your unpresence makes my feet jingle tingle
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bluhbluh Bernard !
I waited 20 minutes in the airport at but but alas you were unpresent. I possessed a hamper filled tomatoes with to greet you, but you made me seem like an idiot. I dropped my tomatoes and now I have deep regret because what to devaour? What occurred, honey? I am actually worried so much I vomited after coming home. Why are you not responding? You are very unserious and unresponsible, Bernie. This costed a fortune. Where are you ? Did Mallory halt your voyage ? Reply ASAP !!!!
Paulo
Bernie,
IT'A TWO WEEK NOW. I called the police but they could care less and told me to call France police. I am incapable I do not wield French tongue. So it is hopeless. Your not funny.
Pauli
BernaRD,
maybe you're kid is eating this letters? I am having thoughts about you and I and how I licked your feet an dyou gurgled. I yearn for caouch cuddling. Respond.
P.
Paulo,
I cannot arrive. Mallory holds me captive. I am srry. I can do nothing. Please organize me to elope ? help me Paulo I want to stroke your baldness tenderly....
5ever urs
BERNARD
Dear diary
I wroted Pualo I cannot arrive. Merde lies. True Mallory imprionsed me in the sewer and I cannot go but I do not wish to go. I love her. She's my only child and I love pranks with davy on Jones Jones is so dumb he's so swollen Mallory kicks with him all the time. Yet I have romance for Paulo my feet shake and palms sweat ? but maybe it's just the sex. allory is blood thickers than water I must persist here.
but what to do, between the devil and the sea?
reichenbach feelings and rubix cubes and a tale of cucumbers
bluhbluh , who would've thought. spoilers for any version of sherlock holmes i suppose, but this masterpiece is about bbc sherlock. also there is no grammar to be found here, there is only grammer. sherlock would not approve. i'll get hung for this ok no this a terrible joke( ;________________; also tumblr addiction )
i went too far
Merci for your letter ! I am also very excited from letters from you, once I almost strangled a postman because he didn’t have no letter from you he only had some games about a girl with a talking sword that my girl says are tres bien. I think she means they taste delicious because I see her licking them. I’d rather lick a Brazilian nut(not Brazil nut, you silly dummy !)myself !
Thank you very much for inviting me ! I will gladly come for holydays but I cannot yet since Mallory is coming of age ! I need to decorate her nice box. We must roast tomatoes by the fire ! But when I’m did we can roast our toes by the fireplace in your home but maybe not since it’s so hot in Brazil ! Not as hot as you ! I know you don’t have sympathy for Mallroy but she’s a good child, very good. She helps me bakery business though worries me what she done in the sewers every day and she dirtied my basement. But such is the way of young children ! She is a rebel now and I must accept. You too Paulo I love you merde much but Mallory is my daughter I love her more though you are sexier. But she will be an adult so I can come. Don’t worry about me though. And the feets(not foots!)are very nice people ! You would like the especially Davy since he is always fun, Jones is gloomy so he makes me angray sometiems and Mallory kicks with him and never with Davy.
So long ! I cannot resist writing to you my sweet potato honey-bunny Brazilian nut ! We wil see each other soona nd I will post this later very soon but first I need to go to the toilet hopefully you’ll get this later this week.
Je’ataime
Bernie
PS my english got gooder did it?
yes I started using this to post abominations
so my mom was like 'draw a picture'
so I did
I stole the idea from pixiv, if you love to waste your time like I do(the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time!)aka if you went through the entire so4 tag on pixiv you might recognize this
YES PENCIL CRAYONS and I don't care what Bacchus actually looks like???
wow my tinypic uploads are terrifying
BACCHUS FRIDGEEEEEEEE
i'm not sure if this is what i'm supposed to use this for
How are you???? Thank you for the last letter, I nearly mauled the postman because I was so excited about opening it! I actually mauled one before even though he was only bringing bills lol I thought it was from you. Also sorry if my English still isn’t flawless, is yours better tomato?
I really miss you very much and I could care less what my family feels about our romance. Every day when I wake up I stroke the photo of us together in front of the Eifel tower, is that how you spell it? I wish very much that you could come for the holydays to Brazil or even maybe stay here forever since your current predicament seems miserable to me. You must get away from that womyn, Bernard. That girl is a monster and so are her imaginery foots friends. You must not stay with them no more. I’m cleaning up my brother’s room for you to move in since he will live in France now. Irony of fate isn’t it? Please come soon my rosebud I desire to cuddle on the coaches. Sorry this letter not long, I'm much distacted with eating chocolate-coated brazil nuts
Loves&kisses
paulo